So, when did kissing become something men are terrible at? Equally, when did I start typing with dangling participles?
While the label of "slut" comes to mind as I begin this, I must say I've kissed many many men in the last several months and am appalled at the lack of skill that appears to be commonplace among us masculine individuals. I would think a man would be better at kissing than a blow-job considering the extra years of practice one would expect an individual would have doing one as to the other. I mean think about it - when was your first kiss and when did you first blow a guy. I'm guessing there's about a decade between the dates. Wouldn't I be correct in assuming you should know how to do one better than the other, yet I'd be wrong many many times over. This is not to say we are experts at fellatio either, but that may be a topic for another time.
My ex and I spent a lot of time being intimate. I'm quite proud of that since we also were quite boringly domestic. Together - well, I hope he learned something too - I had the opportunity to closely examine what worked and what didn't. Without making any claims to being kings of kink-dom, we did try and experiment more than I was ever able to before being in my romance with him. I'd like to think I came to have some knowledge on the mechanics and techniques of being intimate. Perhaps I know as much of nothing as the next guy, but I implore you, gentle reader, to please consider your abilities when it comes to kissing the next recipient.
Firstly, kissing is about the lips - NOT the tongue. The tongue licks, the lips caress. Kissing is about muscle control and massage, not lying limp while you prove you can remove your partner's tonsils without anesthetic. The tongue can enter the entertainment, briefly, but only to tantalize your partner with what you may be able to do with it when set to other purpose. It should not be the main attraction in this show, but rather more like Iago encouraging greater mischief.
Secondly, kissing takes two people. Each person must not only lead the other on to different style, intensity, and technique, but also be able to follow the other as well. It's an interesting balancing act at which men are apparently horrible in nearly every other area of their lives, so I shouldn't be surprised when men are equally terrible at listening to body language as subtle as is used in kissing. Sex in general is about the other partner (not getting off), but that may be a topic for another time. Kissing is more so. If a man is a good kisser, he will be able to adapt his technique to what his partner enjoys while slowly introducing him to several other variations that he may not have encountered before. Please, gentlemen, do not kiss anyone for selfish reasons. Do not kiss so only you can enjoy it. Pay attention!
Lastly, kissing doesn't mean only the lips touch and all else is called something else. Everything a man can do with lips, tongue, teeth, breath, and nose (yes, I said nose) to any part of their partner's body is all an extension of what can be done when my lips touch yours. Taking the same massaging rhythm, upping the intensity just a bit, and applying it to the ear lobe or the nipple can really take your partner to places he didn't intend to go.
I hope you have enjoyed today's PSA. Just Say NO, Always use a condom, Don't forget your towel, and kissing is a skill - not a distraction while unbuttoning my shirt.
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