Day 1

Patience has never been one of my virtues. Neither has politeness under stress. Amazing I have yet to be arrested by airport security.

Today began at 3am. I awoke to Getty Lee's voice, guaranteeing a swift response to the abused alarm. The local rock station and the baby-boomers who tune in, love Rush.

Still, even a man singing(?) falsetto couldn't possible deter this first day of vacation from being absolutely awesome! For starters, I didn't wake alone. That always helps my mood. Also, even though the reality still - as I type - hasn't set in, I'm going to NakedFest for vacation. Simply telling people I'm taking a vacation has been fun. I can't imagine how much better actually going to the festival will be.

The drive to Milwaukee was uneventful, though I must admit I wasn't awake enough to be driving safely. Arriving at the city limits I began scanning for signs to direct me to the mini-highway built to act as the airport's driveway. I found none until I relented to technology and asked my car-sitter (the lovely man who agreed to save my car from long-term parking prison) to Google our route. Once the 4G network responded, the Wisconsin DOT believed me close enough to my destination to warrant guidance.

A self-satisfied Cadillac refused to pull as forward as was possible to allow two cars to reach the terminal entrance in front of the airline assisting my travels. As this airline occupied the entrance at the far end of the line, I was forced to either double Park or circle around the grounds and attempt a spot earlier in the que. I chose the latter and felt it necessary to explain, as gently as I was able, that my companion kindly stop talking as I needed to concentrate on the unruly and mildly unpredictable traffic. An over reaction,  to be sure, but I refused to be delayed after driving at moderately illegal speeds to make up for our 5-minute-late start and my foolish pointing the car toward an inefficient path.

The twenty, or so, people in the line to collect boarding passes caused me a fearful pause until it became clear the process was automated, simple, and assisted by several ladies. Of course, I failed to actually READ the screen come my turn and had to retype my name as I entered it in its entirety rather than parsed as directed. Already a tourist and I've yet to get anywhere.

To those intrepid readers who have not yet jabbed at the screen in disgust at such minutia, I promise less detail of commonalities in the coming days. If I were spend this much time documenting the next eight days I would have nothing to document save the documentation. Surely tedious,  indeed.

No,  my flight has been delayed and another aircraft is apparently enroute to collect those of us hoping to get to Philadelphia. Between the overzealous air-conditioning and the AMA's recommendations to Congress about the perils of second-hand smoke, I must admit an urge to simply walk to Maryland rather than wait the extra hour-and-a-half.

It appears my wait is about to conclude as the pleasant-voiced woman is back to use her microphone again to inform us of things in as drab a tone as she can muster and still continue to collect a paycheck.

Now to see if the airport WiFi will allow me to post this without paying ANOTHER fee. Surely the ventilation in the bathroom will allow a couple of puffs.