It seems America is invested yet again in a campaign for individuality. We seem to want to all be snowflakes in the midst of the blizzard of life, unique and special (or more special) compared to everyone around us.
For time immemorial, children have strove to differentiate themselves from their parents. Teenage rebellion is the most obvious expression of this but we really try to bend the world to our personal whim from birth. Any new parents will tell you that babies only days old have learned to manipulate them. Crying with varying intensities and emotional overtones clue the parents into what the child wants. Some babies sleep through the night, others cat-nap for months. Parents being subject to actually caring about their children have a tendency to please the child at every turn, further teaching the child that manipulation works wonderfully.
The Terrible Twos are another period in which a child finds the word "no" a fascinating exercise in exploitation. Just how long can one be belligerent and not face consequences? Just how mean is too mean? And the best of all, how much of this world is MINE?"
So off we go to daycare, or preschool, or kindergarten and meet other sociopaths who also try to manipulate us in turn. The very shock of the experience burns the first day into the memories of many people. Taunts, teasing, and outright bullying occur almost from day one when a child enters into the social sphere since each child is trying to manipulate the world around them to create pleasant experiences.
Some of this push-back teaches a child to moderate their expectations of the world's ability to provide entertainment and pleasure. However, sometimes it just doesn't get through the thick skulls of some people who then grow up for years without realizing they are owed nothing and are only special to those who think they are special. Sadly, I believe we're finally witnessing the deaths of an entire generation of people who have learned they are snowflakes to be appreciated with awe.
The notion that we are all unique is laughably arrogant and self-indulgent. There is not one action I've ever done in my life that is unique to me and there are millions of people throughout history who have done the exact same thing, for the exact same reasons in reaction to the exact same circumstances.
Yet we want to feel special so we make attempts to teach our children to appreciate their own "unique" blend of personality, skill, and aptitude as they engage in the world around them. This can be healthy for everyone, child and adult, for many reasons of niceness-exchange and expressions of love. This can also be exceedingly unhealthy.
For example, we teach our children (or encourage our adult peers) to "be themselves." Ok, cute sentiment. But what do we actually mean when we say this? What if themselves is narcissistic, destructive, and manipulative? Anyone who has taken even one semester of psychology or sociology, or has cared for someone who is mildly sick (a common cold, for instance) will know this is one side of our basic personality. Being attentive, altruistic, and empathetic may also be there in equal measure, but a person under stress isn't going to donate their estate on a whim to the hungry fellow who just stole his filet mignon.
Do we continue our campaign of self-actualization and personal honesty when the truth is ugly? Do we accept that a bully is mean but forgive his excess with encouragement that he (or equally often, she) be true to themselves? What if a painting by your good friend is utterly lacking in any artistic merit, do we continue to encourage the proliferation of bad art to appease the ghost of Dr. Benjamin Spock?
I'm all for remaining humble enough to acknowledge I'm not ever in a place to judge another's behavior too harshly, (one quick Google search would render my opinion on almost every topic ever inadmissible in any court of plebes) but I do see the pendulum swinging too far in the other direction. No one should think they are special and unique in the face of human history and endeavours. Someone, somewhere, at some time has already has every idea that any of us can possibly consider revolutionary. Reinventing the wheel is not an honorable pursuit in life, and perhaps we should reconsider supporting such reiteration of redundant repetition.
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